Payback

Long time since my last post.
I guess indolence can safely be mentioned as a part of my personality.

Anyway, here goes.

Sometimes, when you do things (actions - speak, play, eat, jive, romance; anything that requires human effort), some of them you have to do, and some you do out of your own choice; and later when you face the consequences of what you've done, more often that not you'd like to do something that would compensate for it. It's these compensations, big or little, that I think are really priceless sources of information that play a big part of who you are and, eventually, become.

Sounds a little far fecthed?
Well, I have some elaboration.

1 {
I think that most of the times when you compensate for your doings, mistakes or otherwise, you end up with two "good things".
First, you come out with a better knowledge of the subject than you had before you started. That knowledge becomes another tool at your disposal the next time you face a similar situation. I know it sounds improbable that you'd put yourself in a similar situation again, but guess what, you don't really control tomorrow, or the next moment for that matter. But more importantly, I believe that the tool that you now have, if used correctly, can come in handy in many other situations to come. Reinforcement of character, or something of that sorts.
And you can always use it to help out others if you like.

Second, you get to know the cost of the compensation. It gives you an idea of what you might need to go through when you do the same thing again. Then you can decide for yourself whether you are willing to pay the cost it involves, or not. It makes you a better judge of you own capabilities, which I believe can vary from time to time. Hence you decide with much more conviction, at that very moment, whether or not you're ready for action right now. I don't think there's any shame in procrastinating if you know exactly what you're doing, or when you'll be doing it. You just gotta make sure the timing is right.
After all, timing's everything.
}

So yeah, this is what I've learned from my own actions. As a matter of fact, I've found that some of the things that I do, I'm gonna keep doing them, again and again. I never really cared what people might say, and I'm willing to pay the costs involved(as I know it's worth it). Having said that, there are some other things I'd like to take back because now I know better.

Do bear in mind that all of this is only useful if you're not afraid to do things in the first place. Trust me, everything's worth doing the first time* :D
So go ahead, do things. You don't have much to lose, or do you?





*except for murder, of course. But then it depends... GOTO 1 for further reference

Matrimony

Welcome to my first ever post on my first ever blog.

Well, matrimony definitely doesn't sound like the title someone would choose for the first entry on a newly started blog, but it's an interesting term, defined using a range of expressions starting from "the beginning of a new life" to "the end of your life as you know it".

Besides, I know someone very close to me about to take the dive, so I thought what the heck.

As much as we hear and say about it, seldom have we thought about what exactly are the preparations of the mind and the things that all come together that make a person commit the beautiful sin called marriage. I'm not talking about the things that follow after the decision is made and announced that someone is getting married. I mean, that is something you can't escape thinking about. In fact if you're an Indian, you'd know exactly how pleasant, and sometimes otherwise, those proceedings can be.

But what I'm talking about is the things a person goes through first hand, before they arrive at the decision, or, if someone else has decided for you (arranged marriages), before you've been told that you're getting married. More importantly I'm talking about the first one, the so-called Love Marriage.

Stop and think about the term "love marriage" right now and mentally document the definition/opinions you have about this term. Everyone has some or the other definition, their own versions of maybe the same thing; and the opinions that go along with it. Now I'm not here to change either of them.

But what I would like for you is to think about it, especially if you are one of those who are about to make a decision, or already have for that matter.

I'll give my own version.

The term 'love' (as recently discussed with my friends over a Saturday afternoon lunch) has so many meanings hidden beneath it in the English language, that it's quite hard to attach it to the feeling you have for a specific person with the correct 'kind' of it.

Let me elaborate. You'd say you 'love' your Dad, and you 'love' your job, and you 'love' your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee/spouse. As you can observe, they all are different 'kinds' of love, and you can't really compare them with each other. In fact, the last example I gave has minute sub-sections within it!

When you find that someone that you'd like to get into a Love Marriage with, first of all you establish that you love that person. Already as hard as it is, I'm sure you've come to this point after exhaustively thinking about it and also you're mature enough to differentiate the correct kind of love you have for this person. Many people make the mistake of 'marrying their best friend' (again, this is just my personal viewpoint, and read ahead if you disagree that it's a mistake).

Here comes the kicker.

You know you love this person X. You know you're ready to spend the rest of your life with X.

Now let the hopeless romantic in me ask you, "Do you love this person, or are you in love with this person?"

To some, the difference seems vague. To some it seems huge. And to some, there is no difference.

And mind you, it's not just the language I'm talk about.

Being in love, something described as the most beautiful feeling you'd experience, is something that can't really be described in words. True love, even harder.

Just to try, some lines that may be able to express my interpretation of being in love (I'm a guy, these are guy lines) -

"I just wanted to let you know how I feel when I think of you

How my heart smiles every time I hear your sweet sweet voice

How happy I'd be, when I'd be with you

When I'd look into those beautiful eyes of yours, and how I'd get lost in them and stare til the end of time

How I'd laugh at your every stupid wish, but still go ahead and do it

I'd hold your hand, and find the reason for my being

I'd touch your face, and you could feel what I'm feeling

You'd say my name for no reason, and hold me.

And I'd say 'you', and hug you back...

And at the end of it all, you'd smile

Making all of my efforts worthwhile

For you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me <her name>, you make me feel complete.

All of me, is all for you,

Cuz my baby, my <her nickname, that you call her>, I love you :)"

If you feel the same way about your to be, you're good to go. Referring to my 'best friend' comment earlier, you just can't feel these things for someone whose just your best friend or companion. However, if you do feel this way about someone, and they are also your best friend, you're about to enter marital bliss; everyone, including me, is happy for you :)

So just take some time to think "Do I feel this way about the person I'm about to spend the rest of my life with?"

Will you smile when you wake up every morning and look at his/her face, and not just because they look funny at the time :P

Will you want them to be the parent of your children, and give them the love and care, the kind that you want to give your children? Will they go as far as you would, to see your child happy?

Would they be able to assure your family and friends who care about you, that they'd give you the love and care you deserve, and not just with the words of the world, but assure them deep inside, and make them smile?

Every evening, would they ask you with a smile "How was your day?", irrespective of the kind of day they had?

And, at the end of the day, would you be happy to fall asleep in their arms, listening to their heartbeat, and every beat slows down with your name on it, as you both fall asleep...

Too many questions, I know, but totally worth it if you find the time to ask yourself these.

I'm sure many of you have these questions already answered even before I presented them, and I feel happy for all the people who have, irrespective of the outcome. Trust me, every thing is for the better. Don't lose heart even if you found 'no' as an answer to most of these, it's a good thing as you now know what you want. Ask your partner to make you feel that the answer to all such questions is yes, and then make sure they mean it and make it work. The power of the human mind can accomplish all. Fall in love, it's a wonderful feeling :)

This goes out to all of you out there, about to be and already married,

wish you a truly happy married life :)