Matrimony

Welcome to my first ever post on my first ever blog.

Well, matrimony definitely doesn't sound like the title someone would choose for the first entry on a newly started blog, but it's an interesting term, defined using a range of expressions starting from "the beginning of a new life" to "the end of your life as you know it".

Besides, I know someone very close to me about to take the dive, so I thought what the heck.

As much as we hear and say about it, seldom have we thought about what exactly are the preparations of the mind and the things that all come together that make a person commit the beautiful sin called marriage. I'm not talking about the things that follow after the decision is made and announced that someone is getting married. I mean, that is something you can't escape thinking about. In fact if you're an Indian, you'd know exactly how pleasant, and sometimes otherwise, those proceedings can be.

But what I'm talking about is the things a person goes through first hand, before they arrive at the decision, or, if someone else has decided for you (arranged marriages), before you've been told that you're getting married. More importantly I'm talking about the first one, the so-called Love Marriage.

Stop and think about the term "love marriage" right now and mentally document the definition/opinions you have about this term. Everyone has some or the other definition, their own versions of maybe the same thing; and the opinions that go along with it. Now I'm not here to change either of them.

But what I would like for you is to think about it, especially if you are one of those who are about to make a decision, or already have for that matter.

I'll give my own version.

The term 'love' (as recently discussed with my friends over a Saturday afternoon lunch) has so many meanings hidden beneath it in the English language, that it's quite hard to attach it to the feeling you have for a specific person with the correct 'kind' of it.

Let me elaborate. You'd say you 'love' your Dad, and you 'love' your job, and you 'love' your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee/spouse. As you can observe, they all are different 'kinds' of love, and you can't really compare them with each other. In fact, the last example I gave has minute sub-sections within it!

When you find that someone that you'd like to get into a Love Marriage with, first of all you establish that you love that person. Already as hard as it is, I'm sure you've come to this point after exhaustively thinking about it and also you're mature enough to differentiate the correct kind of love you have for this person. Many people make the mistake of 'marrying their best friend' (again, this is just my personal viewpoint, and read ahead if you disagree that it's a mistake).

Here comes the kicker.

You know you love this person X. You know you're ready to spend the rest of your life with X.

Now let the hopeless romantic in me ask you, "Do you love this person, or are you in love with this person?"

To some, the difference seems vague. To some it seems huge. And to some, there is no difference.

And mind you, it's not just the language I'm talk about.

Being in love, something described as the most beautiful feeling you'd experience, is something that can't really be described in words. True love, even harder.

Just to try, some lines that may be able to express my interpretation of being in love (I'm a guy, these are guy lines) -

"I just wanted to let you know how I feel when I think of you

How my heart smiles every time I hear your sweet sweet voice

How happy I'd be, when I'd be with you

When I'd look into those beautiful eyes of yours, and how I'd get lost in them and stare til the end of time

How I'd laugh at your every stupid wish, but still go ahead and do it

I'd hold your hand, and find the reason for my being

I'd touch your face, and you could feel what I'm feeling

You'd say my name for no reason, and hold me.

And I'd say 'you', and hug you back...

And at the end of it all, you'd smile

Making all of my efforts worthwhile

For you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me <her name>, you make me feel complete.

All of me, is all for you,

Cuz my baby, my <her nickname, that you call her>, I love you :)"

If you feel the same way about your to be, you're good to go. Referring to my 'best friend' comment earlier, you just can't feel these things for someone whose just your best friend or companion. However, if you do feel this way about someone, and they are also your best friend, you're about to enter marital bliss; everyone, including me, is happy for you :)

So just take some time to think "Do I feel this way about the person I'm about to spend the rest of my life with?"

Will you smile when you wake up every morning and look at his/her face, and not just because they look funny at the time :P

Will you want them to be the parent of your children, and give them the love and care, the kind that you want to give your children? Will they go as far as you would, to see your child happy?

Would they be able to assure your family and friends who care about you, that they'd give you the love and care you deserve, and not just with the words of the world, but assure them deep inside, and make them smile?

Every evening, would they ask you with a smile "How was your day?", irrespective of the kind of day they had?

And, at the end of the day, would you be happy to fall asleep in their arms, listening to their heartbeat, and every beat slows down with your name on it, as you both fall asleep...

Too many questions, I know, but totally worth it if you find the time to ask yourself these.

I'm sure many of you have these questions already answered even before I presented them, and I feel happy for all the people who have, irrespective of the outcome. Trust me, every thing is for the better. Don't lose heart even if you found 'no' as an answer to most of these, it's a good thing as you now know what you want. Ask your partner to make you feel that the answer to all such questions is yes, and then make sure they mean it and make it work. The power of the human mind can accomplish all. Fall in love, it's a wonderful feeling :)

This goes out to all of you out there, about to be and already married,

wish you a truly happy married life :)